a sick want/useless love
Earnestly I breathed your name into the cosmos,
Praying the tangible sound of me hoping
Would cause one, some, or all the deities
To notice my wish and fulfill it with gusto.
I cradled longing in my spindly fingers
and sadness was tucked away in my back pocket,
never really there but always present.
I just wanted something I didn’t think I deserved,
That never stopped me from
pulling four-leaf clovers and wishing on 11:11’s.
The day, if ever, you look at me differently,
with a brighter glint in your eye or
a new understanding in your smile,
I’ll know to praise the heavens from hell and back.
Until then, I will dumbly follow the rituals of prayer,
Staying up late to watch infomercials about love.