a sick want/useless love

Earnestly I breathed your name into the cosmos,

Praying the tangible sound of me hoping

Would cause one, some, or all the deities

To notice my wish and fulfill it with gusto.

I cradled longing in my spindly fingers

and sadness was tucked away in my back pocket,

never really there but always present.

I just wanted something I didn’t think I deserved,

That never stopped me from

pulling four-leaf clovers and wishing on 11:11’s.

The day, if ever, you look at me differently,

with a brighter glint in your eye or

a new understanding in your smile,

I’ll know to praise the heavens from hell and back.

Until then, I will dumbly follow the rituals of prayer,

Staying up late to watch infomercials about love.